Toddlers - the New Breed of Forensic Detectives?

After having spent yet another 45 minutes on a walk with Stefan which resulted in us exploring, minutely, an area the size of an A4 sheet of paper, I suddenly had a thought: Why don't the police train toddlers to become forensic detectives? They are naturals. Yes, there might be slight communication and behavioural problems and yes, it might not be entirely legal, but apart from that I really can't see why this isn't an amazing idea.

Here are some reasons why (based on my, yes, I will admit, perhaps rather limited experience, but still, I don't think Stefan is any different from other toddlers his age when it comes to the explorative nature of our walks).

• No stone, not even the smallest (including grains of sand), is left unturned, unstudied or in the cases of the younger toddlers, untasted. 
• Nothing escapes their gaze: Cigarette buds, rotten fruit, plastic lids, insects - so my argument would be that this were also to be the case with: Fingernails, minute body parts, hair, earrings, teeth, smaller bones.
• The same small area will be looked at from all angles more than once.
• Gloves are not necessary when it comes to examining any wet areas.
• When they're in the field, they're totally in the zone: They hear nothing and don't let anything stop them from for example digging into brown mud, not made out of soil, with a stick (if one is lucky!).
• Everything excites them.
• Confidentiality isn't a problem for them as they're unlikely to be able to talk. 

However, as in all employer-employee relationships, there are likely to be a few negatives and drawbacks when it comes to employing toddlers (in addition to the ones mentioned above):

• They might not understand the seriousness of the matter and laugh at inappropriate moments.
• They'll need longer and more breaks than older workers.
• They'll need help to go to the toilet and eat.
• They might ruin the evidence found and not want to hand it over.
• There is a chance that they'll suddenly get bored with the task at hand and nothing, no kind of bribe, that being monetary, extra annual leave, gym membership, monthly flowers, is going to make them change their minds.
• There might be more tears and hissyfits than with older colleagues.
• They will need a chaperone.

Over the next couple of months, I will do some more research. I have already started writing a questionnaire about Exploration Habits Among Toddlers When Going for Walks and in General (title to be shortened), which I 'm planning on handing out to the parents in Stefan's nursery to start with. Once a result has come back, I will make a pretty powerpoint presentation including loads of impressive slides and try to get a meeting in place with Herr Top-Police-Detective-Guy here in Zurich and see what he says. I think this could lead to something big. 

Actually, I have so much faith in this idea, I'm going to start designing appropriate forensic detective outfits for toddlers.