My New Therapist

My new therapist is German, has lived in Switzerland for more than 20 years, is married to an American, and uses the F… word.

I like her.

She came recommended by my GP, when I mentioned, during one of several appointments last year (apparently, going to the doctor with diffuse symptoms on a regular basis can be a symptom of depression), that I was considering changing my therapist.

The thought of trying to find someone new and going through everything that had happened since my post natal depression once again had just felt too daunting earlier. But this day at my GP’s, I realised that the only benefit I had received from my weekly appointments the last two years was a very intense German conversation class (without the homework and discussions on finer grammatical points). My head wasn’t any clearer and I was still struggling with the same issues on a daily basis without having been given any tools to try and deal with them.

One of my friends, who’s also known to therapy, once told me she wanted to change her therapist. She explained that she found it difficult as she didn't want to upset her current therapist by leaving. At the time I didn’t understand her. To be honest, I thought she was being ridiculous. Now I’ve been in the same situation as her, I wish I hadn’t been so harsh on her and quick to judge. Because I totally agree with her sentiments about not wanting to hurt someone.

It IS silly, if you look at it logically. These therapists provide a service to you and if you’re not happy with that service, you should take your business (you) elsewhere. Most people would do that with their hairdresser, dentist, tattooist...

I’m so thrilled to have found someone who seems to ‘get’ me. She doesn’t agree with all my theories about why I might be feeling this way or that, but she gives me useful feedback and makes me think about why so and so and how so and so. (We're a lot more specific in our sessions.)

What I really appreciate about her is that she seems to care. Genuinely care. You leave her office with the feeling that she wants you to get better and not that you’re another patient (product) she should try to squeeze money out of for as long as possible.  

If you are in a similar situation and want to change your therapist, please don't make the mistake I did and wait too long. Had I not made the change in November last year, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have got the help I needed earlier this year. Or I would have got it when I was in a much worse mental (and physical) state.

It’s your mental health that’s at stake, and you deserve and need someone who’s right for you to help you get better.

Puzzling

I love doing puzzles and sharing pictures of my progress on the puzzle I'm working on at any given account with all my 53+ (and counting, albeit slowly) Instagram followers.

During one of my puzzling sessions this week, I started thinking about what I find so attractive about this activity. And there are many reasons:

1. It's meditative.
2. It's relaxing.
3. You can wear whatever you want and don't have to comb your hair.
4. The excitement I get from the feeling of tidying up; from accomplishing something that takes patience and concentration.
5. It's a great way to do something whilst listening to Podcasts.
6. It's a good alternative to knitting, when the needles are almost on fire from having been producing yet another yoga sock.
7. It can be looked at as preparation for a life as a retiree.

I think all puzzlers out there (and according to Instagram, there are many) secretly wanted to become surgeons as I believe many of the same skills are in use in both fields: You need to be highly concentrated; you work best on a flat surface in a non-crowded room; good lighting is important for both types of operations; you need to have abundance of patience; you have to accept that something that looks like an easy part (moving a bullet from behind an eye socket or finishing a stack of cup cakes) could end up incredibly complicated and leave you drained after completion. But puzzling is the safer option and can't lead to anyone's death, if you get it wrong. And you don't need to study medicine to become a puzzler. Though some knowledge of shapes would be an advantage.

The first puzzle I did was during my first week at the psychiatric hospital. There was a table in the corner of the common room with a less than half-finished puzzle, so I figured I could help that along to completion. I discovered that sitting there, quietly putting a shattered Zürich together, momentarily took me away from all the dark thoughts and feeling of hopelessness that had lead me to this place.   When I moved to a different ward after just over a week, (I had been waiting for a private room to be freed up at the women's ward, where the staff were more specialised in women with post-natal depression), I went out and bought a brand new puzzle that I could sit and do in my room, when I wanted to be alone. Psychologically, one could say that as it's not always possible to bring order in the chaos of my mind, at least I can mend a broken piece of hard cardboard with a pretty picture on it. And later frame it and hang it on my wall.

At the moment, I have four 1000 pieces puzzles decorating the walls in my room, one is waiting to be hung up, one is waiting to be glued together, framed and then hung up and I'm working on a 'triptych' which is three individual puzzles that belong together. (Or as Google puts it: a set of three associated artistic, literary, or musical works intended to be appreciated together.)

You can see some of the puzzles under 'Craft Projects'.