I don't consider myself the fastest learner in the world, but that it's taken me until very recently to realise, actually realise, that the most part of getting and feeling better is up to me, has come as a bit of a surprise. Basically, having failed yet again to do anything from my to do list on one of the two days during the working week, when I don't work, and blaming it on me not feeling up to it and that this is part of my condition, I had a moment of clarity: All the external areas where I can get help are covered: Medication, therapy, support from husband, family and close friends, less work. But, there are still a lot of areas, where only my efforts will make a difference. And that's where my hard work comes in. And this is where I really struggle.
Being able to bottle motivation and sell it, would be a licence to print money. How often isn't motivation the missing link between wanting to do something and actually doing it? The wanting is easy, finding reasons for wanting to do it, also easy peasy. But putting the effort into doing it in order to get the wished outcome (learning a new language; getting fitter; changing careers etc.). What? I have to actually ACTIVELY do something. I can't just sit on my ass and think of all the scenarios where I'm asking for extra cheese on a pizza in Italy, in Italian; greet the sun with my eyes closed; do what I've secretly wanted to do forever?
...
To be continued...
I'm off to do stuff.
Grazie mille.
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